| 摘要: | 本研究紀錄一個來台近十年的僑生呂時瑋(作者本身)，起初把鏡頭對準三位同鄉，最後卻因為兩個不可抗因素－影片原本主角昭薇最後決定回國，以及新冠病毒疫情的關係(無法跟拍)；最後把鏡頭轉向自己，以自身經歷探討馬來西亞留台學生在台的掙扎與矛盾。看他如何記錄拍攝對象的同時，如何面對自己畢業在即的煩惱以外，也記錄其家庭、工作、感情以及對未來期望的生命狀態。此外，本研究也企圖對「自拍」元素，試著探討拍攝者變成被攝者－這種權力的游移關係。此一元素的加入，讓創作者自身化成影片的主角，在影片一開始就交代自己當時的現況，透過回憶的方式表現原本的拍攝對象的故事，更在影片的下半段呈現自己留台掙扎的歷程。創作者本身在自拍的過程，透過在台友人乃嬅、Tommy以及大智的訪談及互動，逐步地意識覺醒，亦應證了自拍本身就是一個認識自己、自我療癒的過程。
This study records that Lee Shry Wei (the author himself), an overseas Chinese from Malaysia who has been in Taiwan for nearly ten years, recorded three hometown friends as his documentary film for graduation. However, one of the subjects, Celine Diong, decided to return to Malaysia. Considering the status of coronavirus, Lee was unable to follow his subject for further record. Finally, Lee decided to record himself and discussed the struggles and contradictions of Malaysian students studying in Taiwan through his own experience. Seeing how he records the subjects, how to deal with the worries of his imminent graduation, but also record his issues in family, work, relationship, and expectation for the future.In addition, this research also attempts to explore the "self-portrait" element, which is the shifting relationship of power between subject and director. The addition of "self-portrait" elements allows Lee to become the protagonist of the film. At the beginning of the film, he explains his current situation at the time, expresses the story of the original subject through memory, and presents his struggle in Taiwan in the second half of the film. In the process of filming, Lee gradually awakened his consciousness through interviews and interactions with his Taiwanese friends Fion, Tommy, and Kevin, which also proved that self-potrait is a process of knowing oneself and self-healing. |
